Chocolate Covered Batman Berries

Difficulty2As you may know, Thursday’s post was Herobrine’d. At the time I called a Category 1 Herobrine, raged a little, and promised a replacement recipe within 24 hours. To be fair, I wasn’t lying. Then things got worse. By ‘worse’, I mean that Skill Up Skillet may be forced to go on an indefinite hiatus due to a possible financial crisis. It’s complicated. Anyway, I can assure you that I will do everything in my power to ensure this does not happen. I will not shut down without a fight.

So, about that replacement recipe. Remember the Zelda Health Potion? Did you make it? Chances are that if you did, you sucked that soup right down without using the fresh garnishing strawberries. But that’s okay, neither did I. It was ridiculously delicious, right? Anyway, here’s my solution to that problem: Chocolate Covered Batman Strawberries, or simply Batman Berries! Naturally, these are dark chocolate covered berries because, come on. Batman. This should really be self explanatory. You could use milk chocolate, sure, but you’d be doing yourself a disservice.

Also, the new Batman game came out. You should probably get in on that. Let me know if it’s any good; I can’t afford it at the moment. Get me HYPED UP. Ready?

Na na na na na na na na, na na na na na na na na LET’S GO.

(I’m sorry.)

Continue reading Chocolate Covered Batman Berries

HEROBRINE’D

HEROBRINEDRight, so. It’s been a bad few days helping my roommate recover from a minor surgical procedure. I made something, I swear I did; it’s just sitting in a misshapen, semi-burnt (Thanks, GoT), un-assembled pile of pure, unadulterated CRAP on top of my stove. I’m not even going to tell you what it is, because I’m convinced I’ll be able to make it work at a later date. It’s too good not to work. Yes, I’m pissed.

Anyway, today’s post has been Herobrine’d.

Q: Just what in the blue hell is a ‘Herobrine’ and what does it have to do with this?

A: Well, if you want the classical definition, I suppose this will do. In the context of this blog, “Herobrine’d” is, by my personal definition: a personal catastrophe so severe as to cause me to not post a recipe.

Q: But… I want a recipe.

A: That’s a statement, not a question. Yeah, I want a recipe, too. Can you give me, like, 24 hours? Can you do that for me, just this once?

Incidentally, if your answer was no, well, you’re going to have to wait anyway. I’m calling in a Grade 1 Herobrine. Yes, in my mind there really is this grand organizational scheme to the whole thing. Theoretically, a Grade 5 Herobrine would be a total ragequit skip-week. You will see a replacement recipe within 24 hours from this posting, I promise.

Q: So what’s the replacement recipe gonna be?

A: I don’t know. Batman Chocolate Covered Strawberries or something. Yeah.

Legend of Zelda Health Potion

Actually... is there a Negative Skillet Difficulty here? -1 Skillets? I should make that a thing (I won't).
Actually… is there a Negative Skillet Difficulty here? -1 Skillets? I should make that a thing (I won’t).

Looking for a unique health potion alternative? Put your clicker-finger down; you’ve found it! This wonderful thing you see before you is a chilled strawberry soup you never knew you were dreaming of. What’s better, it’s my variation of the Disney World strawberry soup recipe from the Grand Floridian hotel. Short story time? Short story time:

Once upon a time in a galaxy far, far away (or Florida, year 2000) Little Leisel and her parents went on a Disney Dream Vacation. Highlights of said trip include (but are not limited to):

  • Snorkeling
  • Tower of Terror
  • Dad sneaking off the cruise ship in the middle of the night to go on a Grand Adventure in the Bahamas. This is also called, “Bribing a local to take you around on the hunt for certain Special Cigars”.
  • my first (and only) toe ring
  • themed restaurants
  • This Soup

Fifteen years later, I still think this soup is the best soup in the world. And I don’t even particularly like soup. I ended up making two batches of this out of convenience (what the hell else do you do with 5 pounds of frozen strawberries?). This can and will outfit a respectable RPG group. Sure, health potions are featured in most every game out there, but today felt like a Legend of Zelda day. Want more Triforce in your day? I think I have just what you’re looking for.

Are you ready for this? I don’t think you are. I don’t think you can handle this. Eff it, let’s go.

Continue reading Legend of Zelda Health Potion

Bullets in a Pot, a.k.a. Repeaters & Pork, an authentic WWI recipe

Difficulty2Valiant Hearts: The Great War

A bit over a month ago I was contacted by the illustrious Captain Max Virtus of Escapades in Bizarrchaeology asking if I would be interested in digging up some bizarre foods eaten by WWI soldiers in the trenches. I thought this would be an excellent opportunity as A. I rather enjoy history; and B. I consider myself to be something of an expert in digging. Why, you may well ask? Once upon a time, I was an amateur grave digger. Quite the leap from computer work, no? Allow me to explain:

My freshman history teacher was something of a legend in the school. Tenacious, passionate, and mildly eccentric about getting his students to pay attention in class. Let me tell you, when your teacher steals a Barbie doll from his daughter, fills its head with fake blood, and ‘chops’ her head off with a miniature guillotine while referring to her as Marie Antoinette… well. Kids paid attention. He also sold really excellent beef jerky year-round to fund legendary history club trips to Detroit and Memphis.

It was fitting, then, that he gathered up volunteers to help renovate a mid-1800’s cemetery in a nearby town. We learned about gravestone symbolism, removing lichen from etched stone, and righting headstones. The latter, of course, required a fair amount of digging as there was much headstone buried in the ground as there was above ground to keep the stones standing. It was normal for us to be seen standing in 4-foot deep holes wiping sweat from our brows. Our most helpful documentation was a list of peak cholera death years; definitely no digging in those! It was hard, dirty work and I loved telling people that yes, the shovel in my back seat was there for grave digging. (Well, it was.)

So how in hell does one combine video games, food, and World War I, anyway? Surely there aren’t that many video games based on the Great War, right? Which brings us to Valiant Hearts: The Great War.

Ready? Let’s go. Continue reading Bullets in a Pot, a.k.a. Repeaters & Pork, an authentic WWI recipe

And now a word from our spons–er, I mean me. Yeah. Let’s talk updates and stuff!

Yeah. I can assure you I do not have any sponsors (dude, how cool would that even be, though?!).

But, hey. Let’s talk. One-on-one, like. Or as close to that as we’re going to get.

First off, can I just tell you how incredibly awesome you are? Yes, you. Faithful Reader, you take time out of your day to visit my little slice of the internet. The place where I semi-comically flail about in the kitchen attempting to create cool-looking, good-tasting geeky and gamer-centric foodstuffs to stoke my creativity and improve my cooking skills.

I’ve learned a ton over the last six months and I hope you have as well. Ideally, I aim to inform and entertain with every keystroke and drop of food coloring. Sure, I’m doing this for me. But I’m doing this for you, too. Thank you for being here. I really couldn’t do it without you.

Probably you’ve noticed a few minor site updates over the last few days. These updates are as follows:

  1. New PayPal Donate button. Let me first make this absolutely plain: Skill Up Skillet is a free recipe blog. I will never, ever charge you for viewing this site or using my recipes. This button is for the newly established Skill Up Skillet Kitchen Fund. For more about this, click the Read More link.
  2. Expanded Tag Cloud. I have added several more tags to my posts to help you, Faithful Reader, and new readers (hi!!!) find content that is interesting and relevant to you. Want to make a geek themed recipe? Click Geek and you will see all geek-themed recipes. Prefer a more gamer-friendly recipe? Click Game. All relevant gamer recipes will be at your fingertips. You’re welcome!
  3. Four Skillets Link Added to Menu. That’s right! With the recent addition of the Zerg Cake Roll we now have a Four Skillet Difficulty Level. I told you it would happen one day, now here it is. For those of you not familiar with the functionality of these links, give’em a try now. Clicking on a specific skill level from the menu will give you all recipes of that particular difficulty. It’s a nice sorting tool to have, I think.
  4. 4% Sanity Lost. Nah, that one’s a joke. Comment if you get the reference!

Yep, those are the major key points. So, let’s talk about that Donate button, because it really is kinda important and I want to explain why this button has come into existence. You got a minute? Let’s go.

Continue reading And now a word from our spons–er, I mean me. Yeah. Let’s talk updates and stuff!

Zerg Cake Roll. Because you never know when you’ll have an audience with the Queen of Blades.

Oh, you are so in for it.
Oh, you are so in for it.

This week I was faced with a hard truth: Our budget did not have any wiggle room this week to pick up any blog related ingredients. I was tasked with making something quick and easy with ingredients we had on hand. Something low key.

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

In a recent magazine I happened upon an ice cream cake roll, which was the original inspiration for this dish. Sure, I had ice cream, but you can’t have it. Fat Kid Has Spoken. How would you like a classy looking Zerg Cake Roll instead? You would, eh? (Good, because I didn’t make anything else.)

So, what is a ‘Zerg’, anyway? The Zerg are an insect-like alien race from Blizzard Entertainment’s Starcraft and Starcraft II hell bent on destruction and evolution. You can play against them and as them. And yes, of course I suck at it. The purple pattern baked into the cake roll is the race’s emblem.

This is also the first recipe given a Four Skillet Difficulty Level. Yes, it is challenging to master. I myself did not, but I’m very satisfied with the results regardless. Would I dare make this cake again? Absolutely. Just let me get some more eggs first. No, really. It is worth the effort to make something this tricky, this pretty, this yummy. It’s worth it.

Admittedly, I almost Herobrine’d out (definition: a personal catastrophe so severe as to cause me to not post) this week. There was a situation on Tuesday evening (June 2nd) that compromised my Battle.net account. Yes, I got hacked. And I responded with a fiery wrath unknown to most mortals to wrest my account from the slimy grip of the trespasser. Fortunately, a live chat with Blizzard Support helped me reclaim all stolen materials in short order. Special shout-out here to Game Master Aerinaeil: You rock! Thanks for restoring my account and sharing my vision with your team. Seriously, you’re great.

Ready? Let’s go.

Continue reading Zerg Cake Roll. Because you never know when you’ll have an audience with the Queen of Blades.