Guest Post: Capt. Jill’s Skyrim Beef Stew

As detailed in my previous post, my brain is currently taking a holiday. Or wants to. Is there a difference? I don’t know. As such, today we’re bringing you a special new feature: Guest posts! Today’s guest is from Capt. Jill of Capt. Jill’s Journeys. When Jill contacted me asking if I’d be interested in her fare I eagerly agreed as the stew seemed like something straight out of Skyrim – just a few more ingredients! Hey, taste is important.

Similarly, the story of how this stew came to be seemed exactly like a scenario straight out of Skyrim (and I wouldn’t be surprised if one of the fisherman had taken a harpoon to the knee at some point). For the full story, why not check out Jill’s original post? Now, if only I could have a bowl delivered to my desk…

Ready? Let’s go. Take it away, Captain!

Banana Chocolate Death Star Waffles

Today’s the day. We’ve all been waiting for what seems like forever. Star Wars: Episode VII is finally in theaters! Admittedly, today I woke up on the dark side of the bed after very little sleep and the realization sinking in that I have to scale back on my geeky recipes. Luckily, I soon discovered that I could Awaken the Force and my day with a generous stack of Banana Chocolate Death Star Waffles. They’re quick, they’re easy, they’re a real crowd-pleaser, AND they’re made from scratch! Say what?

Just like that, I was back in celebration mode. New Star Wars, themed waffles, and my first blogging anniversary?  Suddenly I’m bursting with energy and enthusiasm! Or is that the banana slices and chocolate chips?

Ready? Let’s go!

It’s Time for Twisted Metal: Sweet Tooth’s Cotton Candy Fudge

Does it feel like the holidays yet? With maybe three days of temperatures in the 30’s since Thanksgiving, I’m feeling a big NO. You know what does make me feel like celebrating? Two words: Twisted Metal. Nononono, listen. I’m serious. How can you listen to this track from the North Pole level in Twisted Metal 3 and not get into the spirit?

Rob Zombie and Jingle Bells. Come on. Could there be anything more magical? Twisted Metal is one of my first and favorite video games. Today we’ll be channeling Sweet Tooth with a cotton candy fudge recipe that’s… well… killer. Homing missiles not included.

Ready? Let’s go.

Hunger Games Chocolate Cherry Custard

First: I’m dreadfully sorry about last week. Unfortunately I was unable to publish a new recipe due to some pretty wicked gastrointestinal issues. On a related note, who the actual fuck washes their dishes with straight bleach? I ask you.

I have a  special treat for you this week: Chocolate custard dotted with cherries from the Hunger Games. Though only mentioned in passing, this dessert sounded so good it demanded to be made. That, and do you have any idea how much lamb costs?! I was not about to make the lamb-and-plum stew. We’ll talk about that when I get a raise or three. Good?  Good.

As of now I’m making two batches of each recipe weekly; one for the blog and house, and one for a friend to take to work. Now that’s what I call job security! Stay tuned at the end of the post for the actual test message conversation about just how well the custard was received.

Ready? Let’s go.

Nightmare Before Christmas: Sally’s Blueberry Scones

What could be more iconic than scones and tea at a tea party? How about my recipe for Sally’s Blueberry Scones? These scones are delicious with bursts of intense blueberry flavor and a sweet-tart lemon glaze that just won’t quit. The best part? Break one of these scones apart and take a look at that drop-dead gorgeous blue crumb. It’s irresistible. I confess, I ate one scone before I even started on the stitching, burning my tongue on the hot blueberry juices in the process. I had two more scones this morning.

Number of regrets: 0

This is your new go-to scone recipe. End of discussion. Hell, I’m making a second batch and destroying my kitchen later this afternoon. They’re seriously the easiest thing in the world and require zero decorating skill. Ready? Let’s go.

Oogie Boogie Meringue Cookies

Yes, I see what I did there. October is here and the Halloween season is upon us. While this may make some run for the pumpkin spice (ahem, basic), there are those of us who get to work making devilishly delicious treats. This month Skill Up Skillet will be hosting a Nightmare Before Christmas tea party of sorts with CuppaGeek! Stay tuned for a stellar tea review and pairing later this month. Seriously, though, did you know there was such a thing as geeky teas? No? You’ve gotta get in on that. Give a girl a click.

This week we’re starting off with the villain, Oogie Boogie. This meringue cookie recipe is positively to die for. There’s a little bit of chewiness, a little bit of crunchiness, and a whole lot of flavor. As an added bonus, they’re so light they practically fly off the plate. Simply diabolical!

Boys and girls of every age, are you ready? Let’s go.

Minions Trifle is not to be trifled with.

Yet again I’m late joining the Fandom Bandwagon. So Minions are a thing, and they are an awesome thing. So much so that when I was contacted by a former art teacher asking me to bring a snack to her retirement party this was the first idea that came to mind (it’s kind of an inside joke). This Minions Trifle recipe is incredibly fast, easy, flavorful, and so fluffy. And of course there are bananas in it, which just makes it even more awesome. Also, trifles are just plain fun to make.

Hey, she did say I could make anything…

This is a really basic trifle recipe. That said, feel free to add whatever you feel is appropriate… provided that you have enough room in your trifle dish. Want to add a simple syrup/banana liqueur drizzle over the cake cubes? Maybe a layer of banana pudding? Go for it. Maybe a layer of blueberry pie filling and lemon zest before your whipped cream layer? Knock yourself out. Make what tastes good to you; your taste buds matter the most! Ready? Let’s go.

Portal Slushies

Is the cake a lie or not? Today it is, but these slushies will get you one week closer to the fabled cake. (Well of course it’s going to be my birthday cake, what did you think?) Portal and Portal 2 are a couple of my favorites, just don’t ask me to play them. For some reason my brain just will not process many of the puzzles presented in the games. I don’t know why, I just can’t. It’s fun to watch others play though. But you know what I can wrap my head around? These slushies! So easy to make, and only two ingredients:

1. Liquid (if liquid = Sprite)

and

2. Crack (if crack = Skittles)

These slushies are bright and fruity with just a tingle of carbonation on the tongue. The best part? You only need your refrigerator. That’s right; no processing, no blending, no crushing, nothing. Plus, with summer heating up these are the perfect thing. Ready? Let’s go.

Legend of Zelda Health Potion

Actually… is there a Negative Skillet Difficulty here? -1 Skillets? I should make that a thing (I won’t).

Looking for a unique health potion alternative? Put your clicker-finger down; you’ve found it! This wonderful thing you see before you is a chilled strawberry soup you never knew you were dreaming of. What’s better, it’s my variation of the Disney World strawberry soup recipe from the Grand Floridian hotel. Short story time? Short story time:

Once upon a time in a galaxy far, far away (or Florida, year 2000) Little Leisel and her parents went on a Disney Dream Vacation. Highlights of said trip include (but are not limited to):

• Snorkeling
• Tower of Terror
• Dad sneaking off the cruise ship in the middle of the night to go on a Grand Adventure in the Bahamas. This is also called, “Bribing a local to take you around on the hunt for certain Special Cigars”.
• my first (and only) toe ring
• themed restaurants
• This Soup

Fifteen years later, I still think this soup is the best soup in the world. And I don’t even particularly like soup. I ended up making two batches of this out of convenience (what the hell else do you do with 5 pounds of frozen strawberries?). This can and will outfit a respectable RPG group. Sure, health potions are featured in most every game out there, but today felt like a Legend of Zelda day. Want more Triforce in your day? I think I have just what you’re looking for.

Are you ready for this? I don’t think you are. I don’t think you can handle this. Eff it, let’s go.

Scooby Snacks – Homemade dog treats!

Saturday May 23rd marked a very special day in our house: Our dog Luna’s second birthday! We wanted to celebrate with a special treat. In typical Skill Up Skillet fashion, this means something geeky. Luna has a handful of nicknames because of her big personality including Luna-toon, Luna Lovegood, Toona-Loon, Fur Kid, Smart-Ass, and Scooby Loon. Scooby Loon, because our entry hall, kitchen, and pool room have wood floors and when she gets wound up she tries running on the floors, leading to much skittering a-la-Scooby.

While these treats are made from human food, they’re not very tasty to humans but are irresistible to dogs. Don’t try to share. Trust me. One of us took one for the team and tried a bite. Yuck.

Happy birthday, Luna! We love you! (Yes, I’m aware dogs can’t read, but I’m not so sure about this one. Too damn smart.)

Ready? Let’s go.