Naughty or Nice? Cookies and cream Minecraft Coal for Christmas.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all!

I’m just going to come right out and say it… the internet lies and this recipe proved that Murphy’s Law is real. Disclaimer aside, this recipe combines my two favorite dessert treats into one happy little lump: Oreo cookies and marshmallows. Probably you’ve seen the recipe for “coal” bars circulating on Facebook… and based on the image and details, it probably originated from Pinterest. This is a story of what happened, what should have happened, and what I would do differently next time. Let’s go.

Gamers, grab your mats:

1 package original Oreo cookies
5 cups marshmallows, standard size
4 tbsp. butter
black gel food coloring

IMAG0140 — Ignore the slow cooker; that meal was pretty ‘meh’ anyway.

Start by crushing the Oreo cookies into a medium bowl. The easiest way to go about this would be to empty your Oreo package into a large freezer bag and unleash maximum rage on it. With a rolling pin. Or something equally sturdy enough to support rage without shattering. The goal here is to get small crumbs. Unfortunately, I was stuck with little sandwich baggies. If you find yourself in this situation, empty one section into the bag at a time, crush, and set aside into Oreo bowl. Set obliterated Oreos aside.

IMAG0142 — Certain coffee cups also endure rage relatively well.

According to Google, 8 Jet-Puffed marshmallows equals about 1 cup. Count out 40 marshmallows and 4 tbsp. butter (half stick). Combine and set aside in a second bowl. This should be approximately one package of marshmallows, which is relatively convenient until you start popping one or two in your mouth during the prep time. Buy a second package of marshmallows to preempt that.

IMAG0144 — Snowman spatula to celebrate the season! Also I only have Christmas spatulas… >_>

Melt marshmallows and butter together on your stove top — a double boiler works wonders for this. If you don’t have a double boiler (surprise, surprise; I don’t), fill one pot about halfway with water and set to boil. Set bowl of marshmallow mixture in boiling pot. Stir until contents of bowl are smooth.

IMAG0150 — There we go. One piping hot bowl of sticky ooze. This would be a bad time to burn yourself, methinks.

Now, to bring it all together. Mix crushed Oreos into marshmallows.

This was about the time I realized this wasn’t looking quite right. The mixture was going to turn out some horrible grey color. Tossed marshmallow mixture back on the stove top on low to get food coloring. Luckily, Kroger’s is a 5 minute drive. Whoops. Add black gel food coloring. All of it.

IMAG0155 — Well. That’s… better? Better. Sure.

If you waited as long as I had to to take your cookies and cream mixture out of the bowl, enlist help to turn transfer mixture to greased sheet pan. A 9″x13″ pan would also work well. The goal was to spread the mixture to coat the pan evenly. Ha. Ha. Bloody Ha.

IMAG0156 — Look at it. Mocking me. Taunting me. Bugger.

At this point, it was blatantly obvious that this whole coal bar business was finished. Instead I greased up my palms with a little butter and molded the mixture into coal lumps. Allow to set and harden, store at room temperature in an airtight container. Passable, but not necessarily pretty or properly representing the game.

So, what went wrong? I trusted the internet instead of my instincts. Next time, instead of crushing the Oreos manually, I would opt for crushing them to a fine powder and decreasing the marshmallows by one cup to get a finer consistency and darker color. All in all, this turned out to be a wonderfully delicious treat for the holiday. Stay tuned for more! Your feedback is always appreciated.